


You and Me Girl, Let's Break All the Rules

by Minim Calibre (minim_calibre)



Category: What's Your Number? (2011)
Genre: Childbirth, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family, Las Vegas Wedding, Marriage, Married Life, Pregnancy Scares, Sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 18:59:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6578494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minim_calibre/pseuds/Minim%20Calibre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On their second day of their four-day Vegas vacation, Ally wakes up a little hungover with her hair a tangled mess from the night before (and, as she discovers later when she sees herself in the bathroom mirror, last night's mascara smudged under her eyes) to find Colin looking at her, a dopey smile on his face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You and Me Girl, Let's Break All the Rules

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LovelyPoet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyPoet/gifts).



> For LovelyPoet. Your delightful Yuletide letter remained in my bookmarks until inspiration struck after my most recent viewing of the movie.

On their second day of their four-day Vegas vacation, Ally wakes up a little hungover with her hair a tangled mess from the night before (and, as she discovers later when she sees herself in the bathroom mirror, last night's mascara smudged under her eyes) to find Colin looking at her, a dopey smile on his face.

"What?" she mutters, still half-asleep. Ugh. She can smell her own morning breath. It's like rotting fruit and tequila. They'd gone on a quest for the best margarita on the strip. That was probably a mistake. Still, it's not too bad. Nothing coffee, water, and a plate of scrambled diner eggs can't fix.

"I could wake up to this every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of it."

Her smile feels like it's just as dopey as his. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Every day, huh?"

"For the rest of my life." Colin shoves his face in her neck, nuzzling behind her ear while he runs his hand up her belly. It's unfair that his morning breath smells better than hers. "I'll even prove it to you. We're in Vegas. Want to get married?"

The fact that he's just proposed doesn't fully register through the feeling of his fingers caressing the underside of her right boob. "Can I shower and brush my teeth before we do anything? I smell like something got drunk and died in my mouth."

"You do. It's all kinds of gross. Is that a yes?" Wait. There's the same cute combination of eager and nervous in his voice that there was when he suggested after the first month of dating that maybe they shouldn't be paying for two apartments when they were always in hers, so why not move in together?

Holy shit, he's serious. "Yes. Of course it's a yes!" Holy shit, she's serious. She takes a deep breath. "Yeah. All right. Let's do this."

Despite her morning breath and her hangover sweat stink, Colin kisses her. Enthusiastically. With barely a wrinkle of his nose as he goes in for the kill.

***

Her teeth do get brushed. Eventually. Once they finally get out of bed.

The shower happens a little later. Once they get out of bed again.

The rest of the day goes like this: throw on clothes, get the license, get a late breakfast, find a chapel, grab someone they've never seen before and will never see again to act as their witness. He takes the wedding pictures for them on her phone, too. Ally gets married in cutoffs, flip-flops, and a hot pink tank top with no bra. Colin's in shorts and a grey t-shirt and a ratty pair of Chucks with no socks.

Between breakfast and the chapel, they grab a couple of ring pops at a candy shop on the strip and a candy necklace for her. On the way back to the hotel, they grab a box of chocolates and two bottles of champagne.

They barely make it out of bed for the rest of the day. Thank god for room service.

It's pretty perfect.

Ally's almost asleep when it hits her: Mom's going to kill her.

She needs to call Daisy. Sure, it's late, but Daisy's been claiming for weeks now that she can't sleep with the baby kicking her ribs all night long. She'll be awake.

***

_"Hi, you've reached Daisy's phone! I'm not able to take your call right now, so please leave a message!"_

"Daisy! This is your sister. Why aren't you answering your phone? By the way, your outgoing message sucks."

***

_"Hi, you've reached Daisy's phone! I'm not able to take your call right now, so please leave a message!"_

"I know you're awake. Answer your phone."

***

_"Hi, you've reached Daisy's phone! I'm not able to take your call right now, so please leave a message!"_

"Call me back as soon as you get this, okay? I need to talk to you."

***

Her phone rings at quarter to eight. Ally knocks over an empty champagne bottle while she's fumbling for it.

It's Daisy. "Why were you calling me in the middle of the night? Aren't you and Colin in Vegas? Please tell me he didn't get arrested and you weren't calling so I could bail him out."

"Why would he get arrested? Is that really the first place your brain went? We're in Vegas. Most people would assume we got married before they'd assume that my boyfriend got arrested."

"Married by an Elvis impersonator?"

"No, not by an Elvis impersonator. In the first chapel we could find with an opening."

"Hold on. That's what you were calling about? You actually got married? To Colin?"

"Yes, I actually got married. Of course to Colin."

"Do you have a ring?"

"No. I ate it."

"You ate it?"

"It was a ring pop."

"He proposed with a ring pop?"

"Sort of. Not exactly. He re-proposed with the ring pop. The ring pop was just symbolic. We'll get the actual rings later. Holy shit, Daisy. I'm married. We got married."

There's a long silence on the other end of the line. Finally, her sister says, "This makes perfect sense for the two of you. Mom's going to kill you, though."

"No, Mom's just going to tell me how disappointed she is in me while secretly being relieved that she doesn't have to throw us a wedding and then she'll throw herself into planning your baby shower and forget all about it."

"You remember that's Saturday, right? The planning's been done for weeks. You were so busy with those sculpture things that I convinced her to leave you out of it, but you did RSVP. And you told me twice on the phone you were coming."

"This Saturday?" Shit. "Shit."

"This Saturday, so you can tell Mom all about your drunken Vegas wedding in person."

"Do you think it's better or worse if I tell her we weren't drunk?"

"You weren't?"

"Stone-cold sober. For the wedding at least. The drinking didn't start until after."

A sigh through the line, then, "You want me to tell Mom, don't you?"

"I want you to tell Mom."

"Does Dad know?"

"Colin direct messaged him on Twitter while we were waiting for the license." You still won't catch her dead there, but at least it means one parent approves of her life choices. "He PayPal'd us enough to upgrade to a honeymoon suite, but we used it for champagne and room service instead."

"How was the wedding night sex?"

"Amazing. I'm going to be walking funny for a week. So's he. And for the record? You guys are totally wrong about doggy style and sixty-nine."

"Okay, that's more information than I need."

***

Mom stabs into her slice of cake and starts heading her way. Ally looks around the crowded living room for her sister, but it looks like Daisy's peeing again. She's always peeing. Apparently, the baby likes to sit directly on top of her bladder and use it as a drum kit. Mom must have waited until she saw Daisy leave just to corner Ally where she couldn't escape. This must be how trapped animals feel. She tries not to look too desperate as she guzzles half her glass of champagne.

Mom fixes her with a long-suffering stare. Ally really hates that stare. "Honestly, Ally, Colin? You've only just started seeing him and now you're married?" Her pitch raises in disbelief on 'married' as she glances at the thin gold band they got once they got home from Vegas. "And I thought it was bad when the two of you moved in together so soon."

"It didn't make sense to pay for two apartments when we only used one of them." Somehow, that sounded better when Colin said it. "Anyhow, this feels right."

"Oh, Ally, I can't believe you threw away your chance at a future with Jake Adams for this."

"Jake didn't make me happy, Mom. Colin does." _Come on, Daisy. Finish your damn peeing and come save me from Mom_. "You'll really like him once you get to know him. Hey! There's Daisy! Daisy! Come tell Mom about the names you and Eddie are thinking about for the baby!"

Daisy grits her teeth and pastes on a wide smile as she slowly lumbers her way across the room. "You owe me," she hisses into Ally's ear. "And you don't get to use any of our names," she adds before turning the smile up a notch and saying, "Mom! Why don't we sit down and you can tell me what you think about our choices if it's a girl!"

***

Ally drops her purse on the floor and her butt on the couch, not even waiting for Colin to set aside his guitar first.

"Daisy wants me to be with her during labor and delivery," she announces. Daisy may have actually made it a condition for getting Mom off her back about Colin at the shower.

"I did that for my sister when Justin was born. It's intense. My brother-in-law is scared of blood so she was worried about him fainting."

"Did he?"

"No, but I think he threw up in his mouth when she was delivering the placenta. Did you know it looks like a huge slab of liver?" The guitar finally gets put away.

"I didn't, but I do now."

"It's disgusting. Cool, but disgusting."

Ally throws her feet up into his lap. "Sounds kind of like you."

"That's why you married me. Hey, speaking of Justin, is it okay if he spends next Friday with us? We don't have plans and Em says they're, and I quote, _'so desperate to get out of the house that I don't give a shit if he just watches TV all night.'_ Somehow, marrying you is making her think I'm responsible enough for babysitting."

"Does your sister know that the first time I met Justin, I left him by a puppet show and walked away with a totally different kid?"

"My sister does not know that, but I can tell her if you think it would get us out of babysitting. Though I have to warn you, the way she was talking? I'm pretty sure that's not a deal-breaker."

Em set up Ally's Etsy store and the social media accounts that Colin runs under the store's name. Em actually knows about running a small business and loves to share what she knows. And, more importantly, she actually likes and approves of Ally and of Ally-and-Colin. Ally absolutely does _not_ want Em to know that little tidbit of information.

"No, Friday's fine."

"Good, because I already kind of agreed."

"Colin!" She looks around at the mess of half-finished sculptures on every available flat surface, at the total lack of childproofing.

He gives her the puppy dog eyes. "She twisted my arm! Besides, this way, when we have kids, she'll have to return the favor."

When. Not if. Ally tells herself the lurch in her stomach is just that she hasn't had anything other than champagne, crudités, and cake to eat today. "I'm starving. Mexican or Chinese?"

***

The week before her due date, Daisy insists on meeting for breakfast to go over the birth plan. It's Wednesday. Ally was up late finishing sculpting a cake topper someone ordered on Monday for a wedding on Saturday. It's her one month anniversary and all she wants is coffee and to crawl back into bed with Colin, who's probably still snoring into the pillows, not go over Daisy's birth plan. Which involves a spreadsheet. And flow charts. It's even color coded.

At least Daisy picked a good restaurant. Ally hasn't been able to afford to eat here since she got fired. Good thing Daisy's paying.

"God, the eggs benedict here is amazing. I don't know why you didn't order it. You always order it."

"Because I'm pregnant and I'm not supposed to have hollandaise sauce or undercooked eggs? It's not fair of you to eat that in front of me. I can't decide if I'm making Eddie take me here for eggs benedict or out for sushi first after we have the baby. And stop talking with your mouth full."

"Remind me why we're doing this again? I thought I was just there for moral support and keeping Mom away while you're a sweaty, screaming mess."

"Because Eddie has so much to worry about and I want someone who knows what the plan is in case he forgets and I'm in too much pain to remember I don't want an epidural."

"Why wouldn't you want an epidural?"

Daisy looks at her like she can't believe Ally's just asked such a stupid question. "Because I want what's best for the baby."

"You know look just like Mom when you make that face, right?"

"You know you're super bitchy today. Are you having your period or something?"

It's probably a sign of maturity that she doesn't roll her eyes. "No, Daisy, I just dragged myself out of bed after four hours of sleep and I'm trying to figure out something that looks like a business proposal. I'm not having my period." Except. "Just a sec. I have to check something."

Ally digs through the bottom of her purse for the day planner Mom gave her for Christmas. The first three weeks of January actually have her schedule written down. After that, she's just used it to keep track of her period so she won't get caught without tampons again. "Shit. Shit. I have to call Colin."

"Why do you have to call Colin? It's not like he's even awake. Doesn't he sleep until at least 11:00 most days?"

"Noon, and I have to call him because I'm late."

***

"It says results in three minutes, right?"

Colin looks at the box again. Wow, it's a bright shade of purple. "In big letters, right on the front."

"How long has it been?" She'd pretty much run from the bathroom as soon as she'd finished peeing on the stupid stick.

"According to the timer on my phone? Two minutes. Relax, Ally."

"You're not the one who might be knocked up. Or the one who spent the morning reading your sister's detailed birth plan. Did you know she has a subsection saying she'd wants natural tearing instead of an episiotomy?"

"Em had at least a dozen stitches when she had Justin."

"You're not helping."

They sit there, silently watching the timer count down. Colin's got yesterday's shirt on inside out and his hair's going all over the place and he looks a lot calmer about this than she is.

The phone buzzes. "Three minutes," he says.

"You go look. I can't look."

"I'll go look."

When he comes back out, he looks relieved. "Negative."

"I'm not pregnant?"

"You're not pregnant. At least, that's what the test says."

"Oh thank God. We're having sushi tonight. And sake. A lot of sake."

"There's that one place we went to a couple months ago that does a good happy hour. How about we see if we can't pick up some soft cheese and bologna on our way home? They're not allowed, either."

"How do you know this stuff?"

"I'm close with my sister and she likes to complain."

***

Daisy's due date comes and goes. They head to the hospital twice for false alarms before the real thing.

The first few hours are fine. "This isn't as bad as they say it is," Daisy even says while huffing her way through a contraction.

By ten hours in, Daisy's alternating between cursing Eddie's name and telling him to get out of the birthing suite and crying and telling him she needs him to hold her. Ally, meanwhile, keeps ducking out to give Mom and Dad updates during the times that Daisy actually wants Eddie in the room.

Colin comes by often to make sure she's remembering to hydrate. "I could sneak some vodka into your Gatorade."

"God, I love you. But no, I'll be okay."

***

By the time she's been in labor a whole day, Daisy's insisting on an epidural.

"Remember your birth plan," Ally tells her. Eddie's asleep on the narrow cot by the window.

"Screw the birth plan! And go wake up my stupid husband. This is all his fault in the first place! God, I feel like I need to poop."

She doesn't look happy when the doctors tell her it's too late for an epidural. Apparently, feeling like you need to poop means it's time to start pushing.

***

"Congratulations, you have a little girl," the doctor who seems to be in charge tells Daisy as they hand her the tiny screaming bundle that just came out of her vagina.

"Did you hear that Eddie? It's a girl!"

"It's a girl!" he repeats. They're both crying.

So is Ally. A little. "What are you going to name her?"

Daisy smiles and looks down at her daughter. "We're naming her after the best sister and aunt a girl could have. Ally, meet your Aunt Ally."

Scratch that. Ally's not crying a little; she's crying a lot.

And Colin's right: the placenta does look like a giant hunk of liver.

***

Colin's eyes widen with worry when she comes out of the room. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's perfect. It's a girl. Nineteen and half inches and seven pounds, three ounces of girl. They're calling her Ally." She wipes her eyes. "I need to call Mom and tell her she's a grandmother."

"You call Ava, I'll call your Dad and Jacinda."

"My little sister just had a baby. I'm an aunt." She can't stop crying. Or smiling.

"You're an aunt who needs to go home and get some sleep. I'll get us a cab once I've talked to your Dad."

***

Ally falls asleep in the cab. Colin has to half carry her up the stairs.

"Love you," she mumbles as he tucks her into bed.

He yawns and crawls in next to her, throwing an arm around her and pulling her close. "I love you, too."

***

Mom's there when they go visit Daisy, Eddie, and little Ally the next morning. So's Dad.

"Your father and I have decided it's best for our grandchildren if we try to put our differences behind us." Even though her makeup's perfect, Mom's eyes are suspiciously red around the edges.

"Mom, that's wonderful. But you've only got this one." Ally has her namesake cradled against her shoulder so Daisy can eat the sushi Dad brought with him.

Mom smiles. "For now. But with both our girls married, it won't be too long before the next one."

There's that lurch in her stomach again and she stuffed herself before coming over, so she can't blame it on hunger this time. When she smiles back, it feels stiff. "Maybe," though, is all she says. "Here, you should hold your granddaughter."

***

Back home, Ally realizes she can't stop pacing. At least it's exercise.

"Hey. What's up?"

"I keep thinking. Little Ally is amazing, it's just—" she stops, hands doing a jerky wave thing that would be fluttering on someone more graceful than she is.

"It's sweet that they named her after you," Colin says from the couch. He looks a little tired. He looks great. "If they have another, think they'll name it after me? Ally, whatever's bugging you, spit it out."

"Ally's beautiful and amazing and she's so tiny, I can't even believe she's real and I love her so much already. And Justin—" Wow, they've spent a lot of time with Justin since they got married. "Justin's great."

"You can even pick him out of a lineup now."

"It's just. When it turned out I wasn't pregnant, I was so relieved. More relieved than I thought I'd be. I don't even know if I want to have kids. I thought I did, but maybe I thought I was supposed to want that. We haven't talked about it and everybody just assumes. Daisy, Mom, Em, even you."

"Only because I thought that's what you wanted."

"I thought that's what I wanted. But what if I just want to be the cool aunt?"

He stands, takes her hands and guides them to his hips. "Want to know what I think?"

"What do you think?"

"I think-" he kisses her temple "-I think-" the tip of her nose "-we don't have to decide right now."

"But what if the answer's no?"

"Then the answer's no and we borrow our niece and nephew when we want kids around. Then we give them back, totally wired on sugar, and after they're safely home, we hang out naked on our couch watching Mexican wrestling. And anyway, you're already the cool aunt."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I'm the only aunt."

"Still the cool aunt." He kisses her and she realizes that between the false starts and Daisy actually having her baby, they've been too tired and busy to have sex for way too long.

They should do something about that.

"Want to go to the bedroom and not make a baby?"

"I would love to go not make a baby with you. I think if we put our minds to it, we could not make a whole basketball team before Daisy and Eddie and little Ally go home."

"Mmm, that sounds really good. Think you're up for it?" She slips a hand beneath the waistband of his jeans, sliding it forward beneath his boxers until she's got her fingers around his dick. Colin may have told her she doesn't have to, but she's been working on her hand job. It's almost as good as her blowjob now. "Feels like you're up for it."

"I am so, so up for it."

They don't make it to the bedroom. The barely make it to the couch. That's okay. Not everything in life has to go the way you think it will. 

Sometimes, it's even better when it doesn't.


End file.
